Welcome to my "EI Quadrant EI" book-read

What can I say, other than; ’I am flattered!’ for the very reason that you are interested in reading about my upcoming book "EI Quadrant EI".

The book, as of this day, is only moving one muscle a day and quite a few pounds away from being published. In fact, I still need to write about 44,768 lines of text. Too many? You think so? Not really, ...

if you consider that, taking the average writer virus into account, I will destroy and rewrite the missing lines at least 6 times, before I’d consider myself relatively happy with the book?

Given the fact that I am 61 pages into the book, and an average page will read 33 lines, and - that I’d consider 15% of it being used for illustration, etc., you know now exactly how many pages I am planing to write. If you can tell me that number, then...

 

congratulations, you will receive a free copy of EI Quadrant EI

That was a joke. Just enter this number ’11369‘ into the form on my website.
Your copy of my book "EI Quadrant EI" will; carry my hand-written signature
and be dedicated to You + include a personal note for you!

~

So what can you expect to read about.

"Emotions", in short.

Yes, my book is all about that boring stuff nobody wants to talk about; Emotions.

In my life, I’d come across so many leaders. Most of them, really most, miles away from being a leader, but heavily decorated with titles, degrees, positions and - Power, of course. Guess that makes them the perfect Ruler for their little empire they are allowed to own for a while! Every single one of those leaders, where less than lousy in leading emotions. Imagine how much more they could achieve as "emotionally intelligent leaders?!

In my book I attempt to get down to the nitty-gritty stuff of handling emotions; our own - most important, as well as other people’s emotions. Not that I want to give you a scientific, philosophical lecture, for that you better enroll yourself at a university or read some of the many books published on that topic. Daniel Goleman would be a good start. But I tend to talk through "life", because that is what we are being faced with day in day out, be it at home; at school, at work, on holiday, etc., everywhere, anytime all the time, 24/7.

You guessed it. I don’t sell leadership courses for the Big Folks. I coach everyone’s leadership potential! Less money, I know, but much more rewarding for each individual and on personal scale.

 

go to the next page to read a 9-pages excerpt of "EI Quadrant EI".

Written and © by  "Norbert Harms"  2016

 

_____

Foreword

"Self-knowledge is the great power by which we comprehend and control our lives"

Vernon Howard

I am so excited about this book, because it excites me to listen. Listening allows me to learn. It helps me to lookup and understand the inside of me. And, it allows me to discover what leadership values I lack and guides me on how to fix, to cure that shortcoming.

If I do this every day, I can grow every day. If I can grow myself consistently, I can help other people like you, to listen; learn, understand and grow, too. And that really excites me more than anything else. People often asked me; ’How do you know, where did I learn all this?‘ My answer to that is very simple; I learnt if from You, I’d learnt to listen to you, and to myself.

I always was curious about any and everything, from early childhood on and as far back as I can remember. Already in first grade primary school, my teacher would get annoyed by me bombarding him with endless questions. I questioned literally everything, I mean - Everything.

I still remember my first grade school report, which read; "Norbert is a lovely boy, very attentive and a fast learner, but, he asks far too many questions". I asked my mom; "mom, is this no good, because the teacher always scolds me for asking too many questions?" Whereupon my mom would’ve answered; "Oh no, by no means my boy. This is very good".

Poor teacher. I’d drive him that nuts that he’d tell me to stop asking questions. Now that wasn’t a smart thing to ask from me. It would only make me more curious and so I would only answer back; ’Why don’t you want me ask, how else can I know?

Oh dear, I can tell you, my school years started off promising and very exciting. Finally I was allowed to grow more, faster, simply by having access to all these smart teachers. Yeah, that was wishful thinking, I know. But some teachers were really not bad, and fun, too, sometimes.

BTW, can you picture this totally stressed out teacher who was always under pressure to find the answers to everything I questioned? Thinking back, it makes me feel bad. Um, no, not really. That’s their challenge, isn’t it?

Now lucky I, I live in Australia, where we are being blessed with having over-dimensionally concerned teachers, all breathing, eating, and sleeping concerns on student-well-being, taking care of these challenges.

If I was to be a pupil at my granddaughters school, my nowadays teacher would send me counselling, claiming that there must be something wrong with me. No student at this young age could ever be that much possessed of asking so many questions, god forbid, even ask an explanation. Well, selfishly and irresponsibly I could answer; lucky me I am too old to attend school. But, I am not selfish and think I have some responsibility. Ding Dong.

Set aside, I agree, but only because I consider myself a passionate learner. Because of my natural hunger for knowing and understanding, this entire listening thing may have come a little easier for me to apply. Uh, uh, uh, doesn’t mean at all, that You wouldn’t be able to accomplish the same even though you couldn’t confirm the samePassion. See, all you really need to do is; start listening.

You can achieve this easily, simply by developing a "sincere" interest in others. Wow. Slow down, Norbert. That is a little too deep, too early. I know. But you’d better start early, or else you will find yourself left behind. No threat, just an honest fact, hand delivered, personally.

 

How did I come about writing this book?

Because I listened to You for so many years now - and, I was getting tired about getting bothered by you with the same question, over and over, again (latter is a just one of my many joke spills. Promise not to laugh if you don’ like them). People simply inspire me and I love observing people; the way they move, how and why they act or react to some nothing, how they talk, or not at all, and so on. Another - people thing - I enjoy is, helping people.

That is definitely and by far not such an easy thing to do as you may imagine it be. You see, you can only help people who allow themselves to accept help and even more so, people who really believe that this would do them any good. It’s not such an easy thing to overcome. Who would easily admit to themselves to take a step backwards?

Besides, most people wouldn’t need any help to start with. They are doing just fine. Life is good. They’d enjoy a "secure" position, some even with "authority" attached to, earning is good, enough to pay the mortgage and send the kids to school and - take an overseas holiday trip. Why on earth would they need help?

You may find this a little far-fetched, sarcastic or even arrogance on my part. Perhaps, but, as Vernon Howard also says:

 

"Human sickness is so severe that few can’t bear to look at it
...but those who do will become well."

 

Having talked about this, the reason for why we don’t want to talk about this, is because it makes us sick when we do talk about this. Uh, you know what this is, don’t you. And no, this sickness over this didn’t induce me to stop, or talk about it less, but rather vivified the opposite. I talked books on this. That much that even You got hooked on this and so you bought my book about this. For myself, I’d stopped counting. Just don’t ask me how many books. Many enough, will that do?

No, seriously - I couldn’t tell, not even if you were to offer me a free lunch on Mars, and gosh, you know how expensive a SpaceX ride still is. Anyway, if you can afford it, let’s talk, send me a PM, lol. I’d love to give you a big wave from space. Nevertheless, they probably would like me to be on that rocket anyway. Remember, I ask too many questions.

Alright, let’s get back on track, again. The one thing I do recall, however, and that loud and clear, is finding myself many times in a rather cumbersome situation. On countless occasions, someone would always approach me and ask; "why don’t you write a book about all this?". Yes. … Why don’t You write you a book, you just heard everything I know, everything I do.

Cynic aside, I didn’t say that, OK. Although, it did cross my mind, sometimes. There you know it, I am a lazy writer. Gosh, and a terrible writer, too. I got no degree, and I, I - I dropped out of school after grade 6. Ops, secrete’s out.

 

How did I end up writing this book?

Perchance I could say; ’people around me always instigated me’ to do it and in their pursue, finally prevailed. Or, perhaps You could say that it was only a matter of time for me to give in and pick up that pen in front of me, laying there, unmoved; unused, untouched, just staring at me all these years, and start writing.

Needless to say, though, and to my self-called embarrassment, after having been bombarded with so many, often times quite astonishing questions, sagaciously embedding the haunting, mighty ask; ’Why Not?’, why wouldn’t I make use of my observation acumen and wrap it all up in a book, so "Everybody" can read it?

I definitely need to turn to myself into being my very own, utmost self-railing critic. Without bias, I have to admit that I simply lacked the means of passing a worthy response with a tenable, duly deserved answer. I guess Karma had caught up with me for having been such a teacher’s pain during my primary school years.

Nevertheless, in my vain attempt to escape my sheepish look for not answering the many, meanwhile almost intrinsic questions, I would always attempt to bridge this highly emotionally, trembling situation with a mollifying and conjectured retort like; "Who knows, one day I may surprise us all together."

Now don’t you worry about keeping an eye on that clock, You will know when that day has arrived. Because by then, I will have sorted myself, jugged all my experience and observation clutter into a sorter and transferred the output details onto flat white paper, nicely organised of course (I hope so myself) and all wrapped inside an extra thick, heavy paperback. Then, all that is left for me to do is pray to all the gods, to stand by me, and save me from ending up as a lonely bookworm by the time my book hits the shelfs.

I still have that fear striking me; ’Who would want to read a book about something that boring, when you can read a multitude of other, really exciting stuff, even play games on your smartphone, instead?’ There are so many, more promising and fulfilling things for you to do, other than read stuff about emotions, yuck. You perhaps? You would read it? Then you must be part of that earth folk leftover who had missed the cloud train.

That is a really good time for me to ask you a question; Have you ever, I mean ever before, have you ever experienced a time, sometime in the past - I mean, a really long time back in your life, of course, so that you may have a reason for not remembering, where you promised your wife or husband, your kids, your neighbours and all the rest of all the people you know, even the one you don’t know or don’t like, have you ever, promised them to do something and then, when the time has come, you found yourself that you not kept this promise? You do?

C’mon, be honest, don’t let me stand in shame all by myself. Can you remember, just one? And how did you feel when you discovered yourself as a liar, a falls promiser, an ugly, worthless agreement shredder? If you now dare to say that it wasn’t all that bad, I won’t believe you anything you say thereafter. You are a hopeless, terrible self-denier, you.

But, if you would help me out here and say that you felt really miserable, you would make me fell really good. Huh, I am not the only one. OK, so now, take this miserable feeling and multiply it with itself, a dozen times. Go on, do it. Reached that intensity level? That is, how I felt all this time, until. I felt really bad. I felt like - I ’d let people down, really. Not for promising that I would write that book but then I never did, but for coming up with such lousy excuses. After so many years of functioning as an escape artist, I would have literally learnt to mastering my ’automatic script reply technique’ so perfectly, that I’d eventually adapted it as my personal AQR (automated question response).

Helping me out one more time and make me creep out of this rat hole I slipped into, after having passed myself such a low profile now, I could manage this with some pamper from your side. If you could refer to my slide rather as; ’an intuitive, genuine auto-reply-line for providing an instant answer without the need of having to think about what it, I would buy your compliment off you. No? Fine, then let’s stick to the original. Depressing, but I’ll survive, Thanks for your emotional support. Err.

 

"Ignorance can be educated,
but if ignorance turns into arrogance, ignorance is being suppressed"

 

Having survived that part, you didn’t just wait for me to trigger myself and start writing, did you? Patient, as you are, you hoarded your questions in your inquisitiveness bag, keeping them ready, though, to strike as your answer-digging tool, any time. And loyal as you are, you waited all these years, just to turn yourself into a brave and "active" reader. C’mon, give me some moral support, at least. Thank you.

The fact that you are still reading, gives me hope. I may actually not end up as that lonely bookworm. No conviction shied, it really was the unflagging ambition of all the people who always wanted to read my book, which silently crossed over to me as a subliminal wave of encouragement, and made me convince myself, and start writing. It then all started with a decrypting process to solve my ancient notepad puzzle, inspecting all pieces, turning them around and inside-out, grading and filtering them and gradually, fit them all together to reveal a somewhat readable, contextual format, at least.

I had the privilege, and I am so thankful for that, to get to know so many people, like You, from around the world and who stayed persistent in their pursue of stilling their (growing) hunger on finding ways to reach their self-acknowledgement while simultaneously working on their personal insight, that truly inspired me in writing this book. It was You who inspired me and passed me all the content for my book.

 

"My gratitude and huge Thank you goes to you people out there, wherever you may be"

 

Sat aside all, it really seems we both made it, huh, and you are, indeed, in the possession of my very first, published book. Be that as it is, and with a bold approach in satisfying your hunger of learning more about it (what?), you truly earned yourself every thinkable honour. I’d go even further and say you earned yourself the right to proud yourself, for that very reason that you piled up enough courage and went ahead and spent your money on purchasing a copy of my ("_") EmiLe Anecdote.

Oh that goes down so well, I can tell you. It really feels so good. Nevertheless and albeit all that glittery, proud moment sliding down my back now and into my shoes, I will never forget my first writing experience. It is still electrifying me. And if you want to experience it yourself, I really encourage you, try to write something yourself, even if it is just a letter to your aunt, who you always hated for punishing you when you pinched some cookies off the table when come to pay her a family visit, or your neighbour who always pretended to be Luciano Pavarotti, when his dog used to howl better. Of course, you’d never really send those letters, right? Don’t get me into trouble here.

So when I roll back in time and see myself typing on this book, I will always picture myself driving along that long, dusty and extreme rough dirt-road. I have no idea but somehow this picture just synchs with my writing experience. And indeed, I do love off-road drives. In a way it brings back memories of my youth time, when driving some rally with a school mate of mine on public roads. Now don’t you dare to even think about copying this. That was way back last century. These things don’t exist any longer.

Though going really off-road, and where it is allowed, is good fun and also good for steering up your adrenalin levels. Winding your car around deep pit-holes, running it over rocks and driving through waterholes, crossing river beets, being stuck sometimes without having an idea on how to get out and going again, you will find yourself totally tangled up in a mess of emotions. It’s really fun while hyper intense at the same time, exciting and frustrating, feeling hopelessness and encouragement alternating while tackling life challenges, sweating over fear and crying because of joy. Boy I can tell you, so many emotions will hit you all at the same time. You would feel like steam chamber, close to explode.

Putting all that together, that is how my book writing journey made me feel. It included just about everything, from unbearable pain to overwhelming joy. Diversity, change, uniqueness, all seem to unite to one huge ball, and when this ball gets rolling, it is unstoppable.

That said, do you have any idea how many times did I rip it all off, started all over again, teared it into pieces again and then even dumped it into the bin when later, after another cup of coffee, I’d only turn that bin upside down and pick out some pages, to use its content, somehow, again.

I know, you almost could, if you grab this event as your chance, come to some nasty conclusion over my sanity. Just, before you go on and incline yourself on letting your mind drift off to announcing me as a defect, hold your horses for a moment, will you. Tick, tick, tick, …; ’you think writing a book is easy? Really?

Then I got something for you. For you to get a glimpse on what I went through at times while trying on this book, and I am really not a writer, yet, I invite you to come and join me in my book simulator. Huh, my own invention. This thing is a monstrous, self-engineered emotion-analyser and emotion-stabiliser at the same time. Don’t be scared and chicken out now, ok. Allow me some fun to paying you back for accusing me of insanity. Lol. Trust me, actually, um, it’s - really fun, I promise you.

For the faint-hearted among you, I even prepared some puke-bags, because remember, going off-load can get a little bumpy here and there. Last but not least and to assure your utter safety, may I suggest you seat yourself into an armchair, that way you don’t need to bite your tongue. You can just tightly hold onto your chair. And as a very last, um, I really need you to sign a disclaimer which says you will not try to sue me for anything that may cause the destruction of your inner enemy (nah, just joking, gotcha for a moment, huh).

 

Anxious, curious, ready to join the ride of your life?

Patience, keep your calmness, please. Your enlightenment process will start any moment, but not yet. Meanwhile, waiting for the start flag, do not attempt to launch any (silly) unauthorised move. While you’d taken your seat already, I am still outside running the last checks.

I understand. You are getting hyper enthusiastic now. But taking off without me, could have lethal consequences for you. So put your brakes on. Otherwise, immediate, spiritually transmitted disqualification will take immediate effect and result in your book being destroyed beyond any possible recoverability.

There is only one last check-run to conclude. To participate, you need to follow, only rule, which you also need to agree to. To successfully conclude and survive your emotion simulator experience, here is Rule 39: You are required to follow all instructions during the ride, don’t step outside the simulator, don’t answer your phone, don’t open the door, don’t consume any food or drinks, and don’t blame me when you broke rule 47 and in the end, you were unsuccessful. Accepted? All set? fantastic! Then let’s rock’n roll.

 

Now, during the next 2:58 minutes, ...

 

Want to read more, for free? Interested in becoming a manuscript critic?
turn to the next page and send your interest.

Written and © by  "Norbert Harms"  2016

 

It’s Free to stay in touch!

JOIN my "
EmiLe Club Solitaire"

Get more free reading and gain access to heaps of free leadership coaching.

Poem List